What teens and others are saying about “Unlike my book on the 7 Habits, this book, by my son Sean, speaks directly to teens in an entertaining and visuallyappealing style (and, Sean, I never thought you listened to a word I said). As prejudiced as this may sound, this is aremarkable book, a must-read!” —DR. STEPHEN R. COVEY (1932–2012), Sean Covey’s dad, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and cofounder and former vice chairman of Franklin Covey Co. “ ‘Like father, like son’ may be a cliché, but Sean has proved it to be true. Sean is as effective as his father in providingdirections to teens so that their lives become meaningful. Sean’s 7 Habits is a book every teenager should read and emulate.” —ARUN GANDHI, president of Gandhi Worldwide Education Institute “I have long been a fan of Stephen Covey and his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In fact, I liked his principlesso much that we teach them to our players in the off-season as leadership principles. When I saw Sean’s book The 7 Habits ofHighly Effective Teens, I was excited to have another weapon to take our players and culture to a higher level. Whether youare a teen or not, you should read this book!” —ANSON DORRANCE, coach of the University of North Carolina women’s soccer team, twenty-two-time national collegiate champions “Sean’s can-do examples remind me of how important it is to make the most of what I have. I play a lot of sports, thoughI’m not a big kid. This book helped me realize that I have to rely on my speed and my smarts if I want to reach my goals.” —BRENT KUIK, age 15 “Growing up isn’t easy, but with the help of Sean Covey’s book, young adults can learn to navigate through this awkwardtime and come out on the other side as a highly effective adult. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens empowers young adultsby reminding them that it is perfectly normal to make mistakes, but luckily, if and when teenagers get off course, this bookwill help them navigate the treacherous waters of adolescence. Through the literary experiences shared in this book,hopefully teenagers can learn to love themselves and ultimately discover the effective adult waiting underneath the surface.As a teacher, I like how this book is not only a how-to for young adults but also a jumping-off point for teachers, who arestruggling to connect with their students, by giving them the tools to shape a world that they can be proud of!” —ERIN GRUWELL, founder of Freedom Writers Foundation, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Freedom Writers Diary, and inspiration for the 2007 film Freedom Writers “I highly recommend the simple, straightforward advice provided in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens to teenagers,young adults, and their parents. You’ll hear new perspectives on how to improve your relationships and leadership skills thatwill positively impact your life, resulting in greater happiness. You will see that is easier than you may have thought to startmaking these changes today. And more than that—you will be able to do it and be successful at anything you choose to do. Ihave personally read it and practiced the timeless principles with my daughters.” —DIANA THOMAS, U.S. vice president of training, learning, and development, McDonald’s Corporation “This is an easy-to-understand book full of interesting stories. I really related to Sean’s personal story about the fear ofperforming in front of people since I am violinist. I’m sure teenagers around the globe will be able to relate as well.” —EMILY INOUYE, age 14 “Fifteen years ago Sean Covey wrote a powerful book that taught teens that they had the ability to choose their behaviorbut not the consequences. The decisions that teens make could change their lives forever! Every young person should read The7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. It’s a must-read for all my students!” —SALOME THOMAS-EL, award-winning educator and author of The Immortality of Influence and I Choose to Stay “One of the most defining parts of my career was the habits I built for myself as a teen. And that’s why this book is soimportant. The younger you are when you set your direction and goals and learn the tools that help you get there, the betteroff you will be. This book defines what it means to succeed and is a must-read for every young adult. I only wish someonehad shown it to me during those most formative years of my life. I recommend it to anyone!”—CHELSIE HIGHTOWER, professional ballroom dancer on Dancing With the Stars and So You Think You Can Dance “Sean’s book helps teenagers to become climbers rather than campers, to live with a goal in mind, and to confrontobstacles with a no-barriers mind-set. He urges young people to ‘make your life extraordinary’ and provides a pathwaywhich will get them there. In a world with so many distractions and temptations, the guidelines he provides are invaluable toa purposeful and successful life.” —ERIK WEIHENMAYER, blind adventurer, speaker, author, and filmmaker “If you are a teen, or know someone who will be, have them read this book. It will help them establish a pattern fordealing with change, disappointment, and even success. It is truly a powerful, life-changing book.” —DEREK HOUGH, Emmy Award–winning choreographer “The inspiring examples from real-life problems that teenagers like myself deal with every day, and their experiences andsituations, have helped me make lifesaving decisions. I highly recommend this book to any teenager.” —JEREMY SOMMER, age 19 “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens has made it easier than ever before for teens to navigate through life! If you want tolive a life of contribution, set and achieve extraordinary goals, and stay focused and organized, practice every habit in Sean’sbook. It will help you become who you want to be.” —JULIE MORGENSTERN, author of Organizing from the Inside Out for Teens “This book serves as a great sword in the battle for our young people’s minds. It deserves to be more than just read butlived in everyday life. What a great explanation of human values, ethics, and overall how to live a successfully fulfilled life.” —DRAKE WHITE, country music artist, songwriter “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens is a valuable guide to navigate through adolescent struggles and uncertainty. I wishsomeone had given me Sean Covey’s book during my teenage years. This book is a vital guide to encourage teens through thegame of life. Whether it is advice on achieving their own goals, to discovering the right peers, to connecting more with theirparents, this book has it all and is a recipe for teenage success and a solid foundation for the future. My children will be givenThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens as soon as they enter their adolescent years!” —DOMINIQUE MOCEANU, U.S. Olympic gold medalist in women’s gymnastics and author of the New York Times bestselling Off Balance “I would highly recommend Sean Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens because it teaches whoever reads ithow to set goals, get organized, prioritize, make good decisions, and most of all to help build good character. Take it from me—they are all the things that will help them achieve success in their lives. Sean does a great job with the book.” —JIMMER FREDETTE, Naismith and Wooden awards winner, NBA player “Teens face many challenging issues. And, it’s great that a 7 Habits book is now available to help direct teens towardpositive living. Through my foundation’s programing, we recognize the power of dreams and stress the importance ofexecuting a detailed plan to propel you toward your goals.” —MICHAEL PHELPS, winner of twenty-two Olympic medals and founder of the Michael Phelps Foundation “I wish I’d had this book when I was a teen.” —SHANNON HALE, author of the Newbery Honor–winning Princess Academy and The Goose Girl “Life is such a precious and beautiful thing that so many people take for granted. Even at a very young age, my son wasable to leave a tremendous legacy and influence the lives of so many people forever. In his short life, he experienced andovercame great difficulty and did so with an extraordinary positive spirit. He exhibited so many of the habits taught in The 7Habits of Highly Effective Teens. Had my son had the chance to grow up, I know this book would have been a great guide andgiven him the tools he needed to navigate his way through life. If you are lucky enough to grow up, make mistakes, and learnfrom them, having someone like Sean guide you with this book is truly a gift.” —MAYA THOMPSON, founder of the Ronan Thompson Foundation “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens gives you new insight into the meaning of being powerfully successful. It teaches theimportance of setting goals and sticking to them in order to achieve your dreams.” —PICABO STREET, National Ski Hall of Famer, Olympic gold medalist, and former member of the U.S. ski team “What? Sean Covey wrote a book? You’ve got to be kidding!!” —Sean’s high school English teacher“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens is a touchdown! The sooner you develop good, strong habits, the more effective yourlife will be. This book will help you do just that.” —STEVE YOUNG, NFL Hall of Famer and Super Bowl MVP “I used one of the stories from your book in a speech I gave at leadership camp and it helped me to be elected governor!Thanks, Sean Covey!!!” —LEISY OSWALD, age 16 “The best way to ‘make it happen’ in your life is to make the right choices as a teen. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenslets teens see themselves as the principal force in their lives, regardless of their background or current walk of life.” —STEDMAN GRAHAM, chairman and CEO of S. Graham & Associates, founder of Athletes Against Drugs, author of New York Times bestseller You Can Make it Happen and Identity: Your Passport to Success “For a professional athlete, winning basketball games is important—but winning at the game of life is even moreimportant. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens provides a game plan for teens to become team players with their teammatesin life, their families and friends. It presents strategies for becoming a better all-around person and elevating individual skills.” —SHERYL SWOOPES, head coach of Loyola University women’s basketball team, four-time WNBA champion, three-time MVP, NCAA champion, and three-time Olympic gold medalist “Today’s teens are the future leaders of our families, communities, and nation. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens teachesthem the value of hard work, setting and achieving goals, and taking responsibility and initiative, all of which arecharacteristics of effective leaders.” —MICHAEL O. LEAVITT, former U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services “I have been juggling family, school activities, friends, and after-school responsibilities. When I read The 7 Habits of HighlyEffective Teens it helped me become a more organized person. I used a lot of the cartoons to help me remember stories andexamples.” —JOY DENEWELLIS, age 18 “Stephen Covey must be rightfully proud of his son Sean, who absorbed his father’s lessons well. Those who wish to avoidthe temptations and devastation of drugs, including alcohol, would be wise to implement The 7 Habits of Highly EffectiveTeens. Written for teenagers, this book is an indispensable tool, helping young people make the right choices, while growingup in the chaos of today. I wish there had been a book like this for those of us who grew up in the sixties.” —CANDACE LIGHTNER, president of We Save Lives and founder of Mothers Against Drunk DrivingThank you for downloading this Touchstone eBook.Join our mailing list and get updates on new releases, deals, bonus content and other great books from Touchstone and Simon & Schuster. CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP or visit us online to sign up at eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.comTO MOM FOR ALL THE LOVE, LULLABIES, AND LATE-NIGHT TALKSWhat’s InsideIntroduction Part I—The Set-upGet in the Habit They Make You or Break YouParadigms and Principles What You See Is What You Get Part II—The Private VictoryThe Personal Bank Account Starting with the Man in the MirrorHabit 1—Be Proactive I Am the ForceHabit 2—Begin with the End in Mind Control Your Own Destiny or Someone Else WillHabit 3—Put First Things First Will and Won’t Power Part III—The Public VictoryThe Relationship Bank Account The Stuff That Life Is Made OfHabit 4—Think Win-Win Life Is an All-You-Can-Eat BuffetHabit 5—Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood You Have Two Ears and One Mouth . . . Hel-lo!Habit 6—Synergize The “High” Way Part IV—RenewalHabit 7—Sharpen the Saw It’s “Me Time”Keep Hope Alive! Kid, You’ll Move MountainsBook Study GuideThank YousInfo CentralGreat Books for TeensAbout Sean CoveyBibliographyIndexyou find yourself, ask, “What’s the principle in play here?” For every problem, search for theprinciple that will help you solve it. If you’re feeling worn out and beaten up by life, perhaps you should try the principle ofbalance. If you find no one trusts you, the principle of honesty might just be the cure you need. In the story Loyalty to a Brother by Walter MacPeek, loyalty was the principle in play: One of two brothers ﬁghting in the same company in France fell by a German bullet. The one who escaped askedpermission of his officer to go and bring his brother in. “He is probably dead,” said the officer, “and there is no use in your risking your life to bring in his body.” But after further pleading the ofﬁcer consented. Just as the soldier reached the lines with his brother on his shoulders,the wounded man died. “There, you see,” said the officer, “you risked your life for nothing.” “No,” replied Tom. “I did what he expected of me, and I have my reward. When I crept up to him and took him in myarms, he said, ‘Tom, I knew you would come—I just felt you would come.’ ” In the upcoming chapters, you’ll discover that each of the 7 Habits is based upon a basicprinciple or two. And that’s where they get their power from. The long and short of it is principles rule. COMING ATTRACTIONS Up next, we’ll talk about how to get rich, in a way you probably never thought of. So carry on!A Word About Baby Steps O ne of my family’s favorite movies is on old classic called What About Bob? starring BillMurray. It is the story of a dysfunctional, phobia-laden, immature, pea-brained leech namedBob who never, ever goes away. He attaches himself to Dr. Marvin, a renowned psychiatrist,who wants nothing more than to get rid of Bob and ﬁnally gives him a book he wrote calledBaby Steps. He tells Bob that the best way to solve his problems is not to bite off too much atonce but to just take “baby steps” to reach his goals. Bob is delighted! He no longer has toworry about how to get all the way home from Dr. Marvin’s ofﬁce, a big task for Bob.Instead, Bob only has to baby step his way out of the ofﬁce, and then baby step his way ontothe elevator, and so on. So I’ll give you some baby steps at the end of each chapter, starting with this one—small,easy steps that you can do immediately to help you apply what you just read. Though small,these steps can become powerful tools in helping you achieve your larger goals. So, comealong with Bob (he really becomes very likable after you accept the fact that you can’t shakehim) and take some baby steps.1 The next time you look in the mirror say something positive to yourself.2 Show appreciation for someone’s point of view today. Say something like “Hey, that’s a cool idea.”3 Think of a limiting paradigm you might have of yourself, such as “I’ll never be outgoing.” Now, do something today that totally contradicts that paradigm.4 Think of a loved one or close friend who has been acting out of character lately. Consider what might be causing them to act that way.5 When you have nothing to do, what is it that occupies your thoughts? Remember, whatever is most important to you will become your paradigm or life-center. What occupies my time and energy? ……………………6 The Golden Rule rules! Begin today to treat others as you would want them to treat you. Don’t be impatient, complain about what’s for dinner, or bad-mouth someone, unless you want the same treatment.7 Sometime soon, find a quiet place where you can be alone. Think about what matters most to you.8 Listen carefully to the lyrics of the music you listen to most frequently. Consider if they are in harmony with the principles you believe in.9 When you do your chores at home or work tonight, try out the principle of hard work.
Go the extra mile and do more than is expected.10 The next time you’re in a tough situation and don’t know what to do, ask yourself, “What principle should I apply (i.e., honesty, love, loyalty, hard work, patience)?” Follow that principle and don’t look back.PART II The Private Victory The Personal Bank Account Starting with the Man in the Mirror Habit 1—Be Proactive I Am the Force Habit 2—Begin with the End in MindControl Your Own Destiny or Someone Else Will Habit 3—Put First Things First Will and Won’t PowerThe Personal Bank Account STARTING WITH THE MAN IN THE MIRROR Before you’ll ever win in the public arenas of life, you must rst win the private battleswithin yourself. All change begins with you. I’ll never forget how I learned this lesson. I’m starting with the man in the mirror I’m asking him to change his ways And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself, and then make a change. “MAN IN THE MIRROR” BY SIEDAH GARRETT AND GLEN BALLARD “What’s wrong with you? You’re disappointing me. Where’s the Sean I once knew in highschool?” Coach glared at me. “Do you even want to be out there?” I was shocked. “Yes, of course.” “Oh, gimme a break. You’re just going through the motions and your heart’s not in it. Youbetter get your act together or the younger quarterbacks will pass you up and you’ll be abenchwarmer.” It was my sophomore year at Brigham Young University (BYU) during preseason footballcamp. Several colleges recruited me straight out of high school, but I chose BYU because theyhad a tradition of producing all-American quarterbacks like Jim McMahon and Steve Young,both of whom went on to the pros and led their teams to Super Bowl victories. Although Iwas the third-string quarterback at the time, I planned on being the next all-American! When Coach told me that I was “stinkin’ up the ﬁeld,” it came as a cold, hard slap in theface. The thing that really bugged me, though, was that he was right. Even though I wasspending long hours practicing, I wasn’t truly committed. I was holding back, and I knew it. I had a hard decision to make—I had to either quit football or triple my commitment.Over the next several weeks, I waged a war inside my head and came face-to-face with manyfears and self-doubts. Did I have what it took to be the starting quarterback? Could I handlethe pressure? Was I big enough? It soon became clear to me that I was scared, scared ofcompeting, scared of being in the limelight, scared of trying and perhaps failing. And allthese fears were holding me back from giving it my all. There’s a great quote by Arnold Bennett that describes what I ﬁnally decided to do aboutmy dilemma. He wrote, “The real tragedy is the tragedy of the man who never in his lifebraces himself for his one supreme effort—he never stretches to his full capacity, neverstands up to his full stature.” Having never enjoyed tragedy, I decided to brace myself for one supreme effort. So Icommitted to give it my all. I decided to stop holding back and to start laying it all on theline. I didn’t know if I would ever get a chance to be ﬁrst string, but if I didn’t, at least I wasgoing to strike out swinging.The real tragedy is the tragedy of the man who never in his life braces himself for his one supreme effort—he never stretches to his full capacity, never stands up to his full stature. ARNOLD BENNETT No one heard me say, “I commit.” There was no applause. It was simply a private battlethat I fought and won inside my own mind over a period of several weeks. Once I committed myself, everything changed. I began taking chances and making bigimprovements on the field. My heart was in it now. I knew it, and the coaches saw that. As the season began and the games rolled by one by one, I sat on the bench. Althoughfrustrated, I kept working hard and kept improving. Midseason featured the big game of the year. We were to play nationally ranked Air Forceon ESPN, in front of 65,000 fans. A week before the game, Coach called me into his ofﬁce andtold me that I would be the starting quarterback. Gulp! Needless to say, that was the longestweek of my life. Game day ﬁnally arrived. At kickoff my mouth was so dry I could barely talk. But after afew minutes I settled down and led our team to victory. I was even named the ESPN Playerof the Game. Afterward, lots of people congratulated me on the victory and myperformance. That felt good. But they didn’t really understand. They didn’t know the full story. They thought that victory had taken place on the ﬁeldthat day in the public eye. I knew it happened months before in the privacy of my own head,when I decided to face my fears, to stop holding back, and to brace myself for one supremeeffort. Beating Air Force was a much easier challenge than overcoming myself. Privatevictories always come before public victories. As the saying goes, “We have met the enemyand he is us.”• INSIDE OUTWe crawl before we walk. We learn addition before algebra. We must ﬁx ourselves before wecan ﬁx others. If you want to make a change in your life, the place to begin is with yourself,not with your parents, your teacher, or your girlfriend or boyfriend. All change begins withY-O-U. Think about it. It’s inside out. Not outside in. I am reminded of the writings of an Anglican bishop: When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world; As I grew older and wiser I realized the world would not change. And I decided to shorten my sights somewhat and change only my country. But it too seemed immovable. As I entered my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I sought to change only my family, those closest to me, but alas they would have none of it. And now here I lie on my death bed and realize (perhaps for the first time) that ifonly I’d changed myself first, then by example I may have influenced my family and with their encouragement and support I may have bettered my country, and who knows I may have changed the world. This is what this book is all about. Changing from the inside out, starting with the man orwoman in the mirror. This chapter (“The Personal Bank Account”) and the ones that followon Habits 1, 2, and 3 deal with you and your character, or the private victory. The next fourchapters, “The Relationship Bank Account,” and Habits 4, 5, and 6, deal with relationships, orthe public victory. Before diving into Habit 1, let’s take a look at how you can immediately begin to buildyour self-confidence and achieve a private victory.The Personal Bank Account H ow you feel about yourself is like a bank account. Let’s call it your personal bank account(PBA). Just like a checking or savings account at a bank, you can make deposits into and takewithdrawals from your PBA by the things you think, say, and do. For example, when I stickto a commitment I’ve made to myself, I feel in control. It’s a deposit. Cha-ching. On the otherhand, when I break a promise to myself, I feel disappointed and make a withdrawal. So let me ask you. How is your PBA? How much trust and conﬁdence do you have inyourself? Are you loaded or bankrupt? The symptoms listed below might help you evaluatewhere you stand.Possible Symptoms of a Low PBA • You cave in to peer pressure easily. • You wrestle with feelings of worthlessness and inferiority. • You’re overly concerned about what others think of you. • You act arrogant to help hide your insecurities.• You self-destruct by getting heavily into drugs, pornography, vandalism, or gangs. • You get jealous easily, especially when someone close to you succeeds.Possible Symptoms of a Healthy PBA • You stand up for yourself and resist peer pressure. • You’re not overly concerned about being popular. • You see life as a generally positive experience. • You trust yourself. • You are goal driven. • You are happy for the successes of others. If your personal bank account is low, don’t get discouraged. It doesn’t have to bepermanent. Just start making small, humble deposits today—deposits worth $1, $5, or $10.You’ll feel your conﬁdence growing. Small deposits over a long period of time is the way to ahealthy and rich PBA. With the help of various teen groups, I’ve compiled a list of six key deposits that can helpyou build your PBA. And, just like Newton’s Law of Motion, with every deposit, there is anequal and opposite withdrawal.PBA DEPOSITS PBA WITHDRAWALSKeep promises to yourself Break personal promisesDo small acts of kindness Keep to yourselfBe gentle with yourself Beat yourself upBe honest LieRenew yourself Wear yourself outMagnify your talents Bury your talents• KEEP PROMISES TO YOURSELFHave you ever had ﬂakey friends? They say they’ll text you back and they don’t. Theypromise to hang out on the weekend and they forget. After a while, you stop trusting them.Their commitments mean nothing. The same thing happens when you continually make andbreak self-promises, such as “I’m going to study right when I get home,” when next thingyou know you’re Facebook chatting with friends. After a while of ﬂaking out on yourself,you don’t trust yourself, either. We should treat the commitments we make to ourselves as seriously as those we make tothe most important people in our lives. If you’re feeling out of control in life, focus on thesingle thing you can control—you. Make a promise to yourself and keep it. Start with small$5 commitments that you know you can complete, like not drinking soda pop today. Afteryou’ve built up some self-trust, you can then go for the more difﬁcult $100 deposits—likedeciding to break up with an abusive boyfriend or girlfriend or making up your mind toovercome an addiction.