Today, we’re going to talk about what it means when an ex-boyfriend wants to hang out with you.
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So ultimately, we’re going to be defining what that situation looks like and it’s not necessarily the most common situation that we encounter within our coaching practice, but we do see it from time to time.
So we will be defining what it means.Next, we’ll be looking at really what cost cause them to want to hang out with you.Why would they ask you out after a breakup?And we’re also going to be talking about if hanging out with them is a good idea or not.Should you do it?And if you do decide to do it, how should you be acting when you hang out with them?
So without further ado, let’s just jump right into it. All right.
And really the Holy Trinity is a fancy way of saying someone who has anxious attachment tendencies will… If you can imagine their time is like a cake. Someone who has anxious attachment style tendencies, 70% of that cake is dedicated to their ex, 30% is dedicated to all the other aspects of their life. What we’re really trying to get you to do during the no contact rule is to make your ex only 30% of the cake and the rest of your life 70% of the cake. That’s what we’re trying to get you to do. And then what you’re doing with your time should be noteworthy enough to mention.
Here’s an example using a health-based type thing. So I recently have gotten into cycling. I’ve sustained an injury in my foot. I was training for a marathon. So I sustained an injury in my foot and I needed something low impact to do. So I got into cycling and started really getting into it and trying to understand like, “Okay, what are the best bicycles? What’s the best cadence? And what’s the best way to train?”
So I bought a bike and realized there’s this really cool program online called Zwift, which allows you to basically set a real bike up in your house and ride in a digital world with other people. And it’s really cool. I just literally was doing it before I started talking about this topic. And it’s really cool because you could see other people’s paces.
So you get to kind of race them a little bit, but also you get to see all sorts of cool things. The scenery alone just helps you not focus on how much pain it is to continue pedaling. And it’s really cool. If you get a smart trainer, it simulates what it’s like to actually go up a hill.
There’s really cool maps on there. There’s like a map where you can ride through a volcano. There’s a map where there’s dinosaurs around and you’re just riding. There’s pre-programmed workouts. It’s just this really cool thing.
Now, if you tell that type of a thing to your ex, it’s going to do a couple of things. Number one, is it going to say, “Wow, she’s been working out.” Number two is, “Wow, that’s really cool. Zwift, I’m going to have to check that out.” And it’s even better if you have some sort of physical… like the Zwift has this app that you can use on your phone, where you can show people your workouts and make friends. It’s like a bicycle support group type thing.
But it’s like a cool story to sort of share. You just need to come into the date, or the hangout, or the meetup with that type of a mentality.
Just talk about what you’ve been doing without your ex and don’t rub it in, just make it really interesting.
Talk about one aspect and usually that’s enough. So that’s going to do it.